1
00:00:02,368 --> 00:00:05,572
That's it. We've got to
take Tuga out of that school.

2
00:00:05,638 --> 00:00:09,175
What do you have a beef with
now, pops, reading or writing?

3
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,211
That idiot, crossing guard.

4
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,744
You know what that old crab does?

5
00:00:12,745 --> 00:00:15,715
He holds that sign up, till well after the kids

6
00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:19,352
have reached the curb. Just to tick me off.

7
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,522
Pops, he's 80-years-old man.

8
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:25,024
It takes him that long just to lower his arm.

9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,759
Why not go ahead and jump in the box

10
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,462
and let us have the service.

11
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,932
Woo. If I had a dime for every time I said that.

12
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,370
- Hi. - Hi, pop-pop. Hi, dad.

13
00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:38,771
- Oh, hey, son. - Here.

14
00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:40,638
My teacher told me to give this to you.

15
00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:43,443
- Oh. Okay. - Oh, a note from the teacher.

16
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:45,277
Well, I remember when Anthony used to bring home

17
00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:46,946
one of those once a week.

18
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,450
Flo, you remember when Anthony was trying to

19
00:00:50,516 --> 00:00:52,685
make out with his first grade teacher?

20
00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:56,322
Remember? I had to testify.

21
00:00:57,824 --> 00:01:01,060
She said, she liked my finger painting.

22
00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:03,029
I misread the signs.

23
00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:06,599
Oh, look this isn't so bad, man.

24
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,067
It's just to tell me that
there's a PTA meeting tomorrow.

25
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:12,572
Oh, and to remind me that
I'm in charge of the refreshments.

26
00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:15,341
Mama?

27
00:01:16,175 --> 00:01:18,745
No problem, baby, it'll
give me a chance to try out

28
00:01:18,811 --> 00:01:22,315
my new recipe for my "Oh,
no, you didn't brownies."

29
00:01:23,816 --> 00:01:25,918
I'm going to that PTA thing too.

30
00:01:25,985 --> 00:01:29,122
Why, it's the Parent Teachers Association

31
00:01:29,188 --> 00:01:31,090
not the Prostate Trouble Alliance.

32
00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:32,692
[laughs]

33
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,995
Oh, you want to talk prostate, huh?

34
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,597
No, no, no.

35
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:40,066
There will be no prostate talking in my kitchen

36
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,734
not while I'm eating a plum.

37
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:46,239
I'm just going so I can
get that crossing guard canned.

38
00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:48,441
Come on, pops. He's an old man.

39
00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:50,977
He's so old, he used to babysit Rosa Parks.

40
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,847
Anthony, leave your father alone

41
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:57,950
being angry at something is
what gets him up in the morning.

42
00:01:58,017 --> 00:02:02,055
By the way, Joe, I mailed
that letter to the cereal people.

43
00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:03,356
Alright.

44
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,890
What's he complaining about now, mama?

45
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:07,260
It's too crazy to talk about.

46
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,028
Now, what's crazy about it?

47
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:12,699
Those people promise two scoops of raisins, two.

48
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:16,469
Somebody's gonna be held accountable.

49
00:02:17,870 --> 00:02:19,739
- What's a prostate? - Uh, Tuga..

50
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,206
Son, won't you come over here and ride your bike?

51
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,244
Hey, hold on, hold on, man.
Don't forget your helmet.

52
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,311
- I'm gonna be in the driveway.
- Hey, that doesn't matter, son.

53
00:02:28,312 --> 00:02:30,916
Every time you ride your bike,
I want you to wear your helmet.

54
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:33,453
Fine, but I'm wearing it on my prostate.

55
00:02:33,519 --> 00:02:36,389
[laughter]

56
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,492
Good luck with that, son.

57
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:42,995
? They say the apple don't
fall too far from the tree ?

58
00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:46,632
? Whoever came up with that
one must have not heard about me ?

59
00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:50,203
? Papa used to say he couldn't understand ?

60
00:02:50,269 --> 00:02:53,906
? Mama must have been spending
time with the milkman ?

61
00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:55,842
? But in one.. ?

62
00:02:55,908 --> 00:02:57,577
? They've rubbed off the other ?

63
00:02:57,643 --> 00:02:59,512
? I just step my step day by day ?

64
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,848
? They can't stop a brother ??

65
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,954
[upbeat music]

66
00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:14,894
Lydia, honey, what are you
doing with my broccoli tips?

67
00:03:15,928 --> 00:03:18,231
Baby those are for eating not for wearing.

68
00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:22,602
I fell and hit my head in med school today.

69
00:03:22,668 --> 00:03:25,571
Girl, how many times have
I told you to wear flats?

70
00:03:25,638 --> 00:03:28,274
Some women just aren't built for heels.

71
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,109
- Let me see. Oh. - Ow.

72
00:03:30,176 --> 00:03:31,611
Baby, what happened?

73
00:03:31,677 --> 00:03:34,113
[sighs] It was so stupid.

74
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:37,784
Today was our first day
observing surgery in the OR

75
00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:39,651
that's operating room to you lay people.

76
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:41,286
Baby my broccoli water is boiling.

77
00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:42,955
Is this gonna be a long story?

78
00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:45,858
Anyway, when I opened up the chest cavity

79
00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:48,127
and I saw all this blood.

80
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:50,714
I have not blacked out
like that since spring break.

81
00:03:52,965 --> 00:03:54,801
I know what you mean. I fainted once.

82
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,501
You fainted at the sight of blood?

83
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:59,038
No, at the sight of Philip Michael Thomas.

84
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,907
I saw him in the unemployment office

85
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,810
and baby that man is fine.

86
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:06,845
I'm just, I'm a little freaked out, you know.

87
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:09,749
I can't be a surgeon, if
I faint every time I see blood.

88
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:13,085
Sure, you can't sweetie.
You just have to work for a HMO.

89
00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:16,689
[knock on door]

90
00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:20,560
Oh, hi, dear. Tuga, baby, what happened?

91
00:04:20,626 --> 00:04:23,196
He got a bloody nose playing dodgeball.

92
00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:24,997
Oh. Anthony!

93
00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:26,199
[horn blares]

94
00:04:26,265 --> 00:04:28,534
Britney, let's lay off the horn.

95
00:04:30,369 --> 00:04:32,805
- Tuga got a bloody nose.
- Oh, man, what happened?

96
00:04:33,372 --> 00:04:36,676
It was great, dad, we
were playing dodgeball we won.

97
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,610
Oh, come on, let's go look at this, little man.

98
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,546
I'm telling you that game is dangerous.

99
00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:43,882
[horn blares] Britney, one more
time, you're spending the weekend

100
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:46,085
with your father and his slutty girlfriend.

101
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:50,022
- You guys have a great day. - Uh-huh.

102
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,626
Okay, Tuga, sit down, baby.

103
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,395
Here put this broccoli on your nose.

104
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,297
Grandma wanted french fries anyway.

105
00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:01,667
Hey, what happened?

106
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:04,136
Look, pop-pop, I got a bloody nose.

107
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:05,905
Hey, your first one.

108
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:09,275
Congratulations, son. Welcome to combat.

109
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:12,778
He wasn't supposed to be in combat, pops

110
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:14,580
he was playing dodgeball.

111
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,682
Tuga, why weren't you wearing a helmet?

112
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,084
A helmet? See, Anthony.

113
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,818
That's the problem with you parents today

114
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,353
y'all too overprotective. Shucks.

115
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:22,988
When I was Tuga's age, I must have fell out

116
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,957
of half the trees in this neighborhood.

117
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,360
I turned out alright.

118
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,129
Well, the jury's still out on that one, baby.

119
00:05:31,163 --> 00:05:34,233
Hey, you know what we
used to do when I was a kid.

120
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:37,236
We used to run headfirst in the parked cars.

121
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:42,108
And that was back in the day
when it was made out of steel.

122
00:05:42,174 --> 00:05:44,677
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you were also so poor

123
00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:47,013
that you had a tin can as a pet.

124
00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:49,782
Poor ol' Rusty.

125
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:54,120
Oh, hey, it finally pays off
to have a med student in the house.

126
00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:55,988
Lydia. Could you look at Tuga's nose?

127
00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,857
Oh, yeah. Sure. No problem.

128
00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,358
Oh, Tuga it's just a bloody..

129
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,161
Oh, my goodness.

130
00:06:02,228 --> 00:06:03,796
Oh, Lydia!

131
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,297
That's the same thing your mama did

132
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,700
when she saw Philip Michael Thomas.

133
00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:09,735
Lydia?

134
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:17,043
Oh, thank, you mama, I
mean, hey, this looks great.

135
00:06:17,109 --> 00:06:18,210
[chuckles]

136
00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:20,077
Would you look at that Carla Coleman

137
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:22,281
and her store bought lemon bars?

138
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,151
They should take her children away.

139
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:28,621
Okay, will everyone please take a seat.

140
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:30,289
Come on, honey.

141
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,126
Thank you all for coming.

142
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,113
Alright, for a first order of business

143
00:06:36,128 --> 00:06:39,599
we all need to come up with
ideas for a charity fundraiser

144
00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:41,200
so we can repaint the gym.

145
00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:44,737
As you can see after a season of dodgeball

146
00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:46,505
the walls are pretty scuffed up.

147
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,174
Uh, I've got an idea.

148
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,177
Uh, I say we get the finest mothers in the school

149
00:06:51,243 --> 00:06:54,213
and have them pose in bikinis,
for a swimsuit calendar.

150
00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:59,518
And I will personally donate
my time to take the pictures.

151
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,555
That's very generous of you, Mr. Anderson

152
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:07,026
as always your ideas are
creative, yet self-serving.

153
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,962
Alright, any good ideas?

154
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:12,665
Uh, yes, I would like to raise an issue.

155
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:15,801
I, I think we should ban dodgeball altogether.

156
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,570
It's just too barbaric.

157
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,805
Uh, excuse me. He-he-he.

158
00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:21,574
I have something I'd like to add.

159
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:23,201
What the hell's wrong with you?

160
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:26,212
- Pops. - My name is Joe Anderson.

161
00:07:26,278 --> 00:07:28,814
And I'd like to go on record saying that

162
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:30,916
I think dodgeball is good for kids.

163
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:34,086
It teaches them survival skills.
It toughens them up.

164
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:38,024
And anybody that thinks
that dodgeball should be banned

165
00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:42,194
is an oversensitive child coddling wimp.

166
00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:44,363
Hey, hey, hold on for a second, pops.

167
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:46,365
I feel the same way that she does.

168
00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:50,136
- I rest my case. - I agree.

169
00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:53,372
- Dodgeball is barbaric. - And dangerous.

170
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:56,008
The other day my son came home with a bloody nose

171
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:58,711
because somebody threw a ball in his face.

172
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:00,413
Hey, don't get mad at my kid

173
00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:02,815
'cause your kid is too
slow to get out of the way.

174
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,150
- Whoa. - Slow? Uh-uh.

175
00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:06,986
Hold on, see, slow is your ten-year-old son

176
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,821
who's still in kindergarten.

177
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:14,660
All dodgeball does, is
ruin children's self-esteem.

178
00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:16,262
I agree with Deanne.

179
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,862
I think we should get rid of dodgeball.

180
00:08:17,863 --> 00:08:19,732
It's too competitive.

181
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,934
All games are competitive.

182
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,870
Should we ban hopscotch too?

183
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,739
That's not a bad idea.

184
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:29,442
My Jimmy turned an ankle playing just last week.

185
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:30,710
Oh.

186
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:34,380
Look, dodgeball is just an excuse for the bullies

187
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,748
to take their aggressions out on the weaker kids.

188
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:38,517
No, it's not. It's healthy.

189
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:41,253
It teaches the kids early
on what they're good at.

190
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:45,624
Dodgeball is the playgrounds
way of thinning out the herd.

191
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,893
Are you calling my child an animal?

192
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,162
I've seen him eat, he is.

193
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:51,831
[clamoring]

194
00:08:51,897 --> 00:08:53,866
[laughter]

195
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:56,135
[whistles] Hey, hey.

196
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,971
Look, yelling at each other
isn't gonna solve anything.

197
00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:02,742
- I say we put it to a vote. - I object.

198
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:05,111
- What? - Joe, this isn't a trial.

199
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:08,314
Oh, then let the record
show that this is not a trial.

200
00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:13,819
I think a vote banning dodgeball
is a good idea, Mr. Anderson.

201
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:18,591
The first one you've had that
doesn't involve bathing suits.

202
00:09:18,657 --> 00:09:20,359
Whichever side wins the vote.

203
00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:22,826
That's what we'll recommend to the school board.

204
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:25,431
- Okay, that's good. Let's vote. - Okay. Yes.

205
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:26,799
Alright.

206
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:31,804
People, people, the votes are in.

207
00:09:32,671 --> 00:09:35,207
Apparently...it's a tie.

208
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,842
- What? - Hell, no.

209
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,410
A tie? No, no.

210
00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:41,113
Where the hell did you learn to vote? In Florida?

211
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:45,151
I want to know who voted to ban dodgeball? Who?

212
00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:48,487
- It was an anonymous vote. - One.

213
00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:51,190
Look, pops, We all know that you can count.

214
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,424
Two.

215
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:54,426
How are you gonna vote to ban something

216
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,195
that you've probably forgotten
how to play in the first place.

217
00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:59,865
You got a walk the walk, before you talk to talk.

218
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,700
Oh, yeah.

219
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,003
Joe, Joe, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

220
00:10:04,069 --> 00:10:07,009
What are you saying, that
grown-up should play dodgeball?

221
00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:09,040
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard.

222
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,076
What a great idea.

223
00:10:11,977 --> 00:10:15,047
This could be wonderful, an adult dodgeball game

224
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,749
for our fundraiser.

225
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:18,851
It's not bikinis, Mr. Anderson

226
00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:20,686
but they will be wearing shorts.

227
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:25,024
Hey, hey, hold on. Maybe,
maybe that is a great idea.

228
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:27,793
Look one game, those against dodgeball

229
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,361
versus those in favor of it.

230
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,729
And the winner gets to give the recommendation

231
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,332
to the school board.

232
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,801
Hey, hey, maybe we should vote on it.

233
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:38,304
Oh, you already got to vote, four eyes.

234
00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:41,307
I say, bring it on. What you say, dodgeballers?

235
00:10:41,373 --> 00:10:43,242
[all cheering]

236
00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,478
Hey, hey, hey. And we will be there.

237
00:10:46,545 --> 00:10:48,147
Right, non-dodgeballers?

238
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:53,819
Uh, see, t-that's where y'all
supposed to come in and cheer.

239
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,320
Supposed to have my back right there.

240
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,821
Uh, kind of like when you hear that

241
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:57,922
there's a new asthma medicine.

242
00:10:57,923 --> 00:10:59,024
Oh. Yeah!

243
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:00,926
- Woo. - It's too late.

244
00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:07,533
[upbeat music]

245
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,935
Big picture, people, big picture.

246
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:13,105
Look, these are our children.
We're talking about. Alright.

247
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,841
Look we get to show how dangerous dodgeball is

248
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:18,644
plus we raise enough money to paint the gym.

249
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,379
Just the thought of that game

250
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,548
is bringing back so many painful memories

251
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,149
I know how she feels.

252
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:26,051
The bigger kids always targeted me

253
00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:28,654
with their red rubber balls of death.

254
00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:32,558
Me too. My mother said,
it was because I was special

255
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,894
and the uncouth always try to squelch out

256
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,795
the flame of individuality.

257
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,264
I told them that

258
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:40,566
for some reason it made me a bigger target.

259
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,901
Why don't we just have a spelling bee

260
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,236
to raise money for the gym.

261
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:47,006
- That's a good idea. - Or a chess tournament.

262
00:11:47,072 --> 00:11:48,941
I was co-captain of the chess team.

263
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:51,110
- Me too. - You know what?

264
00:11:51,176 --> 00:11:53,979
Now, I want to throw balls at both your heads.

265
00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,953
[laughs] Is this your team?

266
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:02,955
[laughs]

267
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:04,924
We'll beating you losers is gonna be

268
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,525
the highlight of my year.

269
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:08,932
I gotta make sure somebody takes some pictures.

270
00:12:09,828 --> 00:12:11,931
Pictures? Of my thighs?

271
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,699
All over the school paper.

272
00:12:18,003 --> 00:12:19,405
Who the hell threw that?

273
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:26,378
Lady, I will see you on the court.

274
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,816
Well, I don't even care.

275
00:12:30,883 --> 00:12:33,018
- That felt really good. - Yeah!

276
00:12:33,852 --> 00:12:36,355
[upbeat music]

277
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,925
So what's our strategy,
Joe, a full frontal assault

278
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:43,362
or just a back alley beat down.

279
00:12:44,863 --> 00:12:46,699
You don't get out much, do you, RJ?

280
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:50,869
Our strategy is gonna
be that we're going to pound

281
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:54,373
Anthony and the poindexter patrol into pudding.

282
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,342
I can't wait to lay some
rubber on Nancy Fletcher.

283
00:12:57,343 --> 00:13:00,379
She's blown off carpool
for the last three weeks. Hag.

284
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,049
Yeah, and that jerk Wilson,
turn us down at the bank

285
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,783
when we tried to refinance last month.

286
00:13:05,784 --> 00:13:08,520
We'll see how he feels,
when I deposit a ball in his ass.

287
00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:10,189
[laughter]

288
00:13:10,255 --> 00:13:11,924
People, people.

289
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,026
Let us not forget

290
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:16,528
we are doing this for the children.

291
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:20,466
[laughter]

292
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:32,444
Lydia, what's the matter, baby?

293
00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:34,179
Did the bus driver get handsy?

294
00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:35,986
'Cause I can have Joe write a letter.

295
00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:39,952
I had to watch a quadruple
bypass and I fainted again.

296
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:42,688
That's it. I'm quitting med school

297
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:45,723
Quitting? Honey, what are
you talking about? You can't quit.

298
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:48,293
Mrs. A, I faint every time I see blood.

299
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,760
That's pretty much a career killer for a surgeon.

300
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,731
Well, then don't be a surgeon.

301
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:55,634
Don't they have doctors
that don't cut people open?

302
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,836
Well, yeah, they got researchers.

303
00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:00,172
Research? Go into research.

304
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:01,774
Find a cure for cancer.

305
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,110
Or find a cure for the bunion. You'll be my hero.

306
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:07,245
You don't know my father, Mrs. A

307
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:08,846
he really wants me to be a surgeon.

308
00:14:08,847 --> 00:14:11,583
Well, Lydia, I know Joe
Anderson and I can't believe

309
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,785
your father could be more pigheaded than that.

310
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:16,187
And I can't believe your 30-year-old son and your

311
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,456
60-year-old husband, are about to play dodgeball.

312
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:19,724
- You can do that. - I got that.

313
00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:21,260
- You can do this. - I got it.

314
00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:23,362
- You can do this. - Touch�.

315
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,617
But they're lost cause,
baby, there's still hope for you.

316
00:14:27,618 --> 00:14:29,801
Now, listen, Anthony did not give up his dream

317
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:32,671
of being an actor, just
because his father disapproved.

318
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,373
And it's time that you
learn to follow your own dreams

319
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,742
and not your daddy's.

320
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,677
I hear you, Mrs. A, but the problem is

321
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:40,612
that my dad wants me to be a surgeon

322
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,414
and he's paying for med school.
And that's $50,000 a year.

323
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,517
Your daddy can afford to pay that much?

324
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:48,320
Tch. Girl, I'm raising your rent.

325
00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:53,459
[upbeat music]

326
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,396
Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

327
00:14:57,463 --> 00:15:00,866
Thank you, for attending
our dodgeball fundraiser.

328
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:04,736
Because of your generosity
the gym will be repainted.

329
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:06,672
[crowd applauds]

330
00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:11,710
And now, I'd like to thank the following people.

331
00:15:11,777 --> 00:15:14,513
The Peterson Bottling Company for the beverage..

332
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,449
Okay, let's play dodgeball.

333
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,453
Come on, team. Come on.

334
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:28,560
You ready to get the black smacked off you?

335
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:32,297
Bring it on...Mount Baldy.

336
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,102
- So did I miss anything? - What's to miss?

337
00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:39,671
A bunch of grown-ups in a dodgeball battle.

338
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:42,841
it's like watching "Survivor Idiots Island."

339
00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:44,109
[chuckles]

340
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:47,178
Hey, listen, um, I thought about what you said

341
00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:50,649
and I called my dad, I told
him I didn't want to be a surgeon.

342
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:53,018
- How'd it go, baby? - Well, the bad news is..

343
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:54,419
He's not speaking to me.

344
00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:56,488
The good news, the checks in the mail.

345
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:57,956
Hey!

346
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,192
Why are they doing this, anyway?

347
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,093
They say, they're playing for the gym

348
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,595
but I don't think so.

349
00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:05,731
I don't care if they paint the gym.

350
00:16:05,797 --> 00:16:08,734
I just like the sound of
the ball smacking their heads.

351
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,036
Are you still seeing that special doctor?

352
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:12,604
- Twice a week. - Oh.

353
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:16,675
Okay, now remember, go for the weak ones

354
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:18,410
and the women first.

355
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:21,113
Everybody get in. Now, remember.

356
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:22,848
Go for the old man first.

357
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:26,552
And there's $10 for anybody
who can knock out as partials.

358
00:16:26,618 --> 00:16:27,686
Knock!

359
00:16:34,026 --> 00:16:35,460
Oh, I'll get it

360
00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:40,999
No, Pops! No!

361
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,274
[growls]

362
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,844
One downer down, a dozen to go.

363
00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:58,650
What are you doing?

364
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,319
Did you see what they did
to him, he's still not moving.

365
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,188
It's okay, I'm just hiding.

366
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:05,190
- Ow. - Will you quit it.

367
00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:06,658
I'm out already.

368
00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:09,428
Look, guys, we've been picked on all our lives

369
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,329
this is our one chance we get at revenge

370
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,365
without the threat of jail time.

371
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:16,501
- So what do you say?
- I say, we crack their skulls.

372
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,269
When I am done with you, Mary Underhill

373
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:20,272
you're gonna need another nose job.

374
00:17:21,873 --> 00:17:23,609
[screams]

375
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:26,878
Careful, Anthony.

376
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:28,413
Lookout, Joe.

377
00:17:30,415 --> 00:17:31,750
? Payback ?

378
00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:34,353
? Revenge ?

379
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:37,389
Ow.

380
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:40,626
? I'm mad ?

381
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:43,295
Oh, I maybe big. But you know, I am quick.

382
00:17:43,895 --> 00:17:45,664
Uh-huh. Don't sleep on the big man.

383
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,265
Because I'll be creeping on you.

384
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,001
Come on. Bring it on. Bring it on.

385
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,469
Ahh!

386
00:17:50,535 --> 00:17:53,105
Oh, boy, Mike just got hit by a ball.

387
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,040
Here come the tears.

388
00:17:57,042 --> 00:17:59,645
Uh-huh. Bring it on. Come on. Old bag of bones.

389
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,379
Come on. Come on. Show me what you got

390
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:02,680
Let's end it once and for all, right now.

391
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:03,915
Oh, don't worry about it.

392
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:05,032
I'mma hit you so hard

393
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:06,150
your mama gonna feel it.

394
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:07,452
(Flo) 'Hey!'

395
00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:09,421
It's just a saying, baby.

396
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,292
[upbeat music]

397
00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:15,193
? The big payback ?

398
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,895
? Got to get back ?

399
00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:20,165
? I need some get back ?

400
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:21,700
Come on!

401
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:24,870
? Payback ?

402
00:18:24,936 --> 00:18:26,872
Come on!

403
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:28,807
? Payback ?

404
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,710
? Revenge ?

405
00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:33,979
? I'm mad ??

406
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,781
[screams]

407
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,552
[yells]

408
00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:42,888
[cheering]

409
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,490
[yells]

410
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,061
We won! We won! You lost.

411
00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,966
[indistinct]

412
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,502
Way to go, dad.

413
00:18:58,236 --> 00:19:01,173
I knew you could do it, baby.
You'll get it next time, Joe.

414
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:06,144
When? When are adults gonna
play dodgeball again, Flo?

415
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,113
Whenever you want, 'cause we're the champions.

416
00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:10,482
[cheering]

417
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:11,883
Bring it on. Bring it on.

418
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,852
I can kick your ass, right now, again.

419
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:15,253
[clamoring]

420
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,222
What are doing, baby? Alright.

421
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:19,624
We said one game would end it once and for all.

422
00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:21,893
What? No more dodgeball?

423
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,696
- That's my favorite game. - Oh, son.

424
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,130
But-but I thought that you know, we-

425
00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:27,498
Yeah, yeah, that was the old reason

426
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:28,967
but to hell with that.

427
00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:31,136
This is the most fun I've had in years.

428
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:34,473
Dodgeball's great. It's
the one thing I'm good at.

429
00:19:34,539 --> 00:19:36,875
I'm so small, I'm hard to hit.

430
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,110
[laughs]

431
00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:41,947
My special doctor said,
it's an outlet for my aggression.

432
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,517
Dad, you take away dodgeball

433
00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:48,286
and I'll be a punching bag around here.

434
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:49,688
Oh, man, but I thought-

435
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,522
Come on, Anthony, now, you looked like

436
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,124
you were having a good time out there.

437
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,726
Oh, I know I was.

438
00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:57,662
Well, Anthony, you won.

439
00:19:57,729 --> 00:19:59,865
So you get to choose.

440
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,066
From the looks of thing, it looks like your team

441
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:03,835
wants to keep dodgeball.

442
00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:09,007
Please, dad.

443
00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:12,911
Well, I guess, maybe we
did overreact a little bit, and..

444
00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:15,614
You know, if we do ban dodgeball

445
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,715
we'll, we'll look like a bunch of hypocrites

446
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:20,352
when we come back next year to defend our title.

447
00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:22,454
[all cheering]

448
00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:27,192
So we still get to play dodgeball?

449
00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:28,309
Yes!

450
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,295
[kids cheering]

451
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:34,099
Okay, everybody, refreshments in the next room.

452
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:36,601
Yeah, man.

453
00:20:41,239 --> 00:20:44,676
So are you through coddling this boy?

454
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:47,412
Your idea coddling is food and water?

455
00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:48,780
[chuckles]

456
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,681
But I hear where you coming from, pops.

457
00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:52,416
You know, since I've been a single father

458
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,217
I have been a little overprotective.

459
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,819
You know, I must've hit
you so hard with that ball

460
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:58,956
I knocked some sense into that head of yours.

461
00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:01,126
[laughs] You must be joking, man.

462
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,595
That ball was moving so slow even that old

463
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,396
crossing guard could have got out of the way.

464
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:07,065
[laughs]

465
00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:08,467
I forgot about him.

466
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,267
I got something I got to take care of.

467
00:21:10,268 --> 00:21:12,248
Tell your mama I'll see you at home later.

468
00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:21,179
[theme music]

469
00:21:21,229 --> 00:21:25,779
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